Really struggling with everything

[Daisycat]

I am really struggling to see the point in doing or caring about anything anymore. I had so many plans for my future and now I honestly only care if I get through the day without crying so I can come home, eat the disgusting food that is supposed to help prevent flare ups, and take my anxiety medicine and muscle relaxers and sleep. If I’m just going to be a cripple in 5 years what’s the point of anything? It’s not fair that this crap has ruined everything in my life. My friends don’t know about this since a lot of my friends are friends with my coworkers and I don’t want to be fired. I know there is a chance I might never have another flare up, but I could also become a cripple and I can’t imagine having to actually live like that. I’m also worried that I’ll become paralyzed and not be able to do anything to end my suffering, so I wonder if I should risk it and hope for the best or find other options. Sorry for the long post. I’ve just never felt so hopeless and alone in my life.

[jimmylegs]

here to vent, or start a conversation? either is fine but i notice no reply to the 4 responses you had to your first msg

[Daisycat]

Start a conversation.. at this point I really think just suicide would be the best choice. I really have nothing to look forward to anymore. I was so happy and had so many things to live for a month ago and now I wish I could just die peacefully in my sleep. All I have to look forward to is a lifetime of worry and sadness. And I didn’t reply to my other messages because I was working a lot and going straight to bed after work since sleep is the only time I’m not miserable.

[Scott1]

Hi,

From what you have told us so far- you don't like losing weight, you don't the food you're eating, you think you will only get worse, you have no friends except the people you work with, you think you will be a cripple in five years and you have more debt than your comfortable with. You see no future at all and your dependents will be fine if the bills are paid. Is that a fair summation?

To have a conversation, it will be easier if you describe who you are, what your symptoms are, where you would like to be and what you have been advised so far.

Most people with MS live a normal lifespan and many have interesting lives. Each day you're going to wake up (and that will be for a very long time). Having MS is not like groundhog day. Don't regret losing what did do because only you feel that it's gone. It's still there.

Regards,

[jimmylegs]

talk to us about the good things a month ago and specifically how that has changed in terms of symptoms. if you just got diagnosed that's a rough time where your frame of reference is really shaken up. it takes time but you do come through it and will feel less desperate. there's a lot of room for optimism.

[Daisycat]

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago. I had plans to get my masters and advance my career. I hate the diet you follow for ms. I don’t mind the weight loss but it reminds me of what’s wrong with me. I’ve stopped talking to anyone I’m friends with because they won’t understand why I can’t ever hang out with them anymore. A month ago I’d go out with friends at least once a week, I’d do things besides work, Work out, sleep, and cry. I just don’t see how I’m supposed to accept I have nothing left to live for. As far as symptoms, it started out with bad vision problems. Right now I don’t have any, but I know that can change any second.

[jimmylegs]

i don't follow 'the' diet for ms (there's not one and my ND's suggestions were dumb i figured out my own way to fix my problems as best i could) and i am working on my masters now, having been dx'd mid undergrad. life is not on hold - you got this!!!

[hargarah]

There is a simple response to,your post: SUCK IT UP! I was diagnosed with MS at 19 and am 42 now. I did two degrees, including a Masters Degree. I make a six figure salary and still date and just came back from a 5 star resort in Mexico.

Sure...life is harder...but that is the whole point of this life! If you are going to live for other people and what they think...then you will always be disappointed!

God knows what problems other people have that you cannot see.

Be strong and have courage! That’s the only way you can beat this disease!!

[Daisycat]

To the person who said to suck it up, you can go straight to h3ll and I hope you learn some compassion. People like you are what’s wrong with this world. Compassion is something you need to learn. To the person who said life isn’t on hold, I wish I could believe you but I’m struggling to see the point on anything. I’m also not following a specific diet, just avoiding sodium and saturated fats.

[Boudreaux]

Yeah...It sucks to be us but you can still live a great fulfilling life. You are still working and said you have no symptoms and you speak of compassion, sorry but there are plenty on this board reading your post that are praying for the bad life that you have.

I was dx'ed October 31, 2002 and had no idea what was in store for me but I carried on. 15 years later I'm still walking, talking and living life, I just competed in my first Jiu Jitsu Competition over the weekend and I won........

Your life is not over.

[Daisycat]

Congrats on your win. And I feel bad for the people who have it worse than me, but I know any day that could be me and then it would be to late to easily take care of it. I have never felt so alone, helpless, and worthless in my life. I consider every single thing related to ms. I’m always tired and have back aches, before I thought that was just me. Now I think it’s ms related and will only get worse. The worst part is I have no idea how to prevent anything and that terrifies me.

[Snoopy]

I am curious....how old are you?

With everything you have posted you have avoided the repeated questions as to what symptoms do you currently have. Why not answer that question and we might be able to offer some suggestions.

Receiving a diagnosis of MS can cause a rollercoaster of emotions, it's very common for those newly diagnosed to go through a grieving process in much the same way as someone has lost a loved one. It really might be a good idea to see about getting on an anti-depressant, at least until you have a better handle on your diagnosis. Although having MS is not a diagnosis any of us wanted, life can and does go on. It is very possible you can have a life that is very active and fulfilling.

I was diagnosed at the age of 23/24 and I had been married for only a few years (no children). I was quite fearful of this disease, I even gave my husband the option of getting out of the marriage so he could find someone more healthy. He got angry and said he was not leaving me, we have been married for 36 years. We eventually went on to have two children. My life has had a lot of adventures, fun, joy and laughter. I would have hated ending my life before I even had a chance to see what doors opened for me.

By the way, I have never used any special diet and/or MS diet. Quite frankly...if you don't like the diet you are on then get off the diet. Some people feel better on certain diets, some never notice any difference on them. There is no diet that will cure this disease. The best thing you can do is eat a healthy diet (this is true for anyone with or without MS) and exercise. There are many options for the treatment of MS (Disease Modifying Therapies).

[Zyklon]

There are lots of people with success stories and yes there are lots unhappy people. You need to make a decision. If you have so many plans then you have some good reasons to be a success story. I guess you are here because you want to change.

Please read my topic http://www.thisisms.com/forum/introduct ... 28969.html and please listen other friends here.

BTW clock is ticking, change and get well soon. You can do it ;)

[Daisycat]

I am 36. I did the same thing you did. I told my boyfriend he could leave since he didn’t sign up for this life, and he deserves a better like than what I can offer him. I have answered many times about my symptoms. Right now I don’t have any obvious, but I don’t know if my horrible fatigue and back pain and random dizzy spells is ms or something else. There is no diet I will enjoy with this disease, everything I’ve read and been told has said to avoid all the foods I love. I don’t mind eating healthy, but I’d like to be able to enjoy a night out with my boyfriend without having to worry if the sodium in the food is going to harm me.

[Zyklon]

MS is not the disease you think. I eat whatever I want with moderation. I can drink a glass of wine or beer. I go to gym 3 days a week. I don't know for how long my life will be like this and I try to enjoy every minute of it.

Trust me, your life is not over if you take care of yourself.