Waiting... waiting... waiting
Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:47 pm
Appreciation for anyone who reads this lengthy post, as I just want to get everything off my chest somewhere...
I am a 32 year old male, never had health issues before... At 8:30am on June 4th of this year, I'm sitting at work when a deep coolness enters the left side of my brain... I can FEEL it inside my brain slowly growing in intensity and now accompanied by sharp pains. My neck, especially on the left side, is now stiffening and increasingly shooting the same pain that's inside my head... sitting in my chair, I feel dizziness/vertigo. My left cheek near my lip became noticeably cold, felt like there was a focused cool breeze about a silver dollar size next to my lip. I began to realize something bad was happening, and I tried to slowly take stock of my breathing, heart rate, etc... nothing else besides the pain and stiffness registering abnormal to me. I got up to ask other folks in the office if they had Tylenol or something, and the comments were "you look really pale!". Walking back to my office, I noticed that my left eye is having trouble adjusting when I try to look ahead of me down the hallway. My wife and Dad arrived to drive me home, as I felt unsafe to pilot myself. I had lunch and instantly felt much better, less unstable with more discomfort than pain. A walk-in clinic PA feels I am experiencing my first migraine and prescribes some basic pills to take when I feel symptoms coming on. They don't work. For the next few days, fatigue and soreness in my head/neck are the primary complaint.
Next week, similar symptoms crop up (again, at work), but nowhere near as severe as the week prior. I make it through the day and am able to drive myself home. Most of my day is spent marveling at how weird it feels to have my cheek seemingly numb for no reason... a trusted colleague states that "the left side of your face is glassy" and not as reactive as the right side when I spoke. My wife is worried when I arrive home and feels the left side looks "droopy". Fearing a stroke and maybe increased issues that night, I visit the local ER and get right through to the front of the line. CAT scan comes up clean, the PA on-staff dismisses all my claims as "power of suggestion" (she didn't outright say this, but she began to take me much less seriously after I said colleagues had raised my concerns). I walked away with the suggestion that I see a neurologist and with a paper saying "You have Trigeminal Neuralgia". Guessing they had to stick something on the paperwork for insurance reasons?
We are able to get into a neurologist one town over the next day. After listening to my complaints, she instantly shot out "I don't know you, never seen you before. But your face is not symmetrical". Other than ordering a battery of tests (labs, MRI) and referrals (cardiologist), she says my experiences could be "50 different things" and we left feeling at least we'd get some answers soon.
Over the next few weeks, I go through all the motions (missing days at work, of course). I never have a "normal" day again, some form of symptom is always active... Cardiologist says everything is good (EKG, echo-cardiogram, 24-hour Holter monitor). At the neuro follow-up, she pulls out my paperwork and states that labwork is all within range of normal (533 level for B12, since I know many people around here want that info), but that the MRI revealed lesions on the left side of my brain and most likely this was MS. She offered an alternative of Lyme Disease, but we were so floored with the MS mention that we didn't ask a lot of questions. Referred to spinal tap (lumbar puncture) for confirmation.
Had the spinal tap (side note: My referral paperwork from neurologist says "DX: Multiple Sclerosis"), but the sample was apparently sent off to Colorado and is going to come back piecemeal to neuro's office. The neuro is difficult to get in to see, if you have private insurance, she is only available one afternoon a week in that next town over. Have a follow-up on the 21st, but the waiting is killing us. After the spinal, I began experiencing nausea that seems directly tired to how intense my neckache/headache is - at its peak last week, I could feel waves of pain washing over my brain as they washed over my stomach. I'm losing weight unexpectedly, I haven't really changed any dietary or exercise habits - maybe just eating less due to the nausea, but not enough change to account for 12 pounds of weight loss in a little over 2 months. My head feels like it weighs 30 pounds and it just feels like my neck is not strong enough to hold it upright all day without periods of rest... I feel some relief when I pitch my head forward and relax all neck muscles, but of course this is not practical for work.
I'm continuing to miss days at work due to active symptoms - I commute 60 minutes by car, and it's incredibly difficult to feel bad in the morning and have to decide if it's bad enough (or will turn bad enough) where I'll have to leave early or have to be rescued again by family. My boss expresses understanding and empathy in-person, even saying "we'll work around this"... but I truly feel she is now on-guard to remove or reduce my position, and she has already gotten HR involved by informing them I'll need to adjust my leave time and scheduled non-duty days this year... feels like she's laying the groundwork for dismissal by painting me as an absentee. I seriously wonder about consulting the union, HR, and/or legal specialists - but without a diagnosis, I feel this might be premature. Needless to say, I'm feeling overwhelmed, stressed, clueless, selfish, etc. We have 3 young kids and am the only bread-winner... this limbo stage is beyond frustrating.
Heat, stress, lack of sleep... all of these things seem to be triggers that take my daily mild symptoms to a new level. With 3 kids age 5 and younger, 2 hours of commute each day, and living in California's Central Valley (100+ degree temperatures from June to September), avoiding these triggers is impossible!
Reading about both MS and Lyme, I don't know what to hope for anymore... I just want an accurate diagnosis. I worry about more and more testing without answers, I truly feel my work is going to find a different reason to let me go and I'll be still feeling awful every day without resolution. As you can tell, I just need to vent!
I am a 32 year old male, never had health issues before... At 8:30am on June 4th of this year, I'm sitting at work when a deep coolness enters the left side of my brain... I can FEEL it inside my brain slowly growing in intensity and now accompanied by sharp pains. My neck, especially on the left side, is now stiffening and increasingly shooting the same pain that's inside my head... sitting in my chair, I feel dizziness/vertigo. My left cheek near my lip became noticeably cold, felt like there was a focused cool breeze about a silver dollar size next to my lip. I began to realize something bad was happening, and I tried to slowly take stock of my breathing, heart rate, etc... nothing else besides the pain and stiffness registering abnormal to me. I got up to ask other folks in the office if they had Tylenol or something, and the comments were "you look really pale!". Walking back to my office, I noticed that my left eye is having trouble adjusting when I try to look ahead of me down the hallway. My wife and Dad arrived to drive me home, as I felt unsafe to pilot myself. I had lunch and instantly felt much better, less unstable with more discomfort than pain. A walk-in clinic PA feels I am experiencing my first migraine and prescribes some basic pills to take when I feel symptoms coming on. They don't work. For the next few days, fatigue and soreness in my head/neck are the primary complaint.
Next week, similar symptoms crop up (again, at work), but nowhere near as severe as the week prior. I make it through the day and am able to drive myself home. Most of my day is spent marveling at how weird it feels to have my cheek seemingly numb for no reason... a trusted colleague states that "the left side of your face is glassy" and not as reactive as the right side when I spoke. My wife is worried when I arrive home and feels the left side looks "droopy". Fearing a stroke and maybe increased issues that night, I visit the local ER and get right through to the front of the line. CAT scan comes up clean, the PA on-staff dismisses all my claims as "power of suggestion" (she didn't outright say this, but she began to take me much less seriously after I said colleagues had raised my concerns). I walked away with the suggestion that I see a neurologist and with a paper saying "You have Trigeminal Neuralgia". Guessing they had to stick something on the paperwork for insurance reasons?
We are able to get into a neurologist one town over the next day. After listening to my complaints, she instantly shot out "I don't know you, never seen you before. But your face is not symmetrical". Other than ordering a battery of tests (labs, MRI) and referrals (cardiologist), she says my experiences could be "50 different things" and we left feeling at least we'd get some answers soon.
Over the next few weeks, I go through all the motions (missing days at work, of course). I never have a "normal" day again, some form of symptom is always active... Cardiologist says everything is good (EKG, echo-cardiogram, 24-hour Holter monitor). At the neuro follow-up, she pulls out my paperwork and states that labwork is all within range of normal (533 level for B12, since I know many people around here want that info), but that the MRI revealed lesions on the left side of my brain and most likely this was MS. She offered an alternative of Lyme Disease, but we were so floored with the MS mention that we didn't ask a lot of questions. Referred to spinal tap (lumbar puncture) for confirmation.
Had the spinal tap (side note: My referral paperwork from neurologist says "DX: Multiple Sclerosis"), but the sample was apparently sent off to Colorado and is going to come back piecemeal to neuro's office. The neuro is difficult to get in to see, if you have private insurance, she is only available one afternoon a week in that next town over. Have a follow-up on the 21st, but the waiting is killing us. After the spinal, I began experiencing nausea that seems directly tired to how intense my neckache/headache is - at its peak last week, I could feel waves of pain washing over my brain as they washed over my stomach. I'm losing weight unexpectedly, I haven't really changed any dietary or exercise habits - maybe just eating less due to the nausea, but not enough change to account for 12 pounds of weight loss in a little over 2 months. My head feels like it weighs 30 pounds and it just feels like my neck is not strong enough to hold it upright all day without periods of rest... I feel some relief when I pitch my head forward and relax all neck muscles, but of course this is not practical for work.
I'm continuing to miss days at work due to active symptoms - I commute 60 minutes by car, and it's incredibly difficult to feel bad in the morning and have to decide if it's bad enough (or will turn bad enough) where I'll have to leave early or have to be rescued again by family. My boss expresses understanding and empathy in-person, even saying "we'll work around this"... but I truly feel she is now on-guard to remove or reduce my position, and she has already gotten HR involved by informing them I'll need to adjust my leave time and scheduled non-duty days this year... feels like she's laying the groundwork for dismissal by painting me as an absentee. I seriously wonder about consulting the union, HR, and/or legal specialists - but without a diagnosis, I feel this might be premature. Needless to say, I'm feeling overwhelmed, stressed, clueless, selfish, etc. We have 3 young kids and am the only bread-winner... this limbo stage is beyond frustrating.
Heat, stress, lack of sleep... all of these things seem to be triggers that take my daily mild symptoms to a new level. With 3 kids age 5 and younger, 2 hours of commute each day, and living in California's Central Valley (100+ degree temperatures from June to September), avoiding these triggers is impossible!
Reading about both MS and Lyme, I don't know what to hope for anymore... I just want an accurate diagnosis. I worry about more and more testing without answers, I truly feel my work is going to find a different reason to let me go and I'll be still feeling awful every day without resolution. As you can tell, I just need to vent!