I'm not really "new"
Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:34 pm
I was first diagnosed a year after having my oldest son right after a frightening bout of optic neuritis.
That child is almost eleven now.
I set out on the Internet to learn as much as I could and was faced with every bleak and downtrodden, personal website known to man. No hope or humor. Also no escape as there were also posts disparaging people who didn't want to embrace their new future. It was a straight stab to the heart.
Because of this and all of the reports about how ill the injections make you, I spent most of the next decade refusing medication and hoping for reasons why. How can an illness be real if there is no real cause?
I had the liberation procedure done in 2011. I immediately felt better. Colors were vibrant again. I had so much energy. I was happy and confident enough to leave my abusive spouse and start my life over.
Last weekend I got engaged. Last weekend I had a relapse. I am currently sitting here with double vision (not optic neuritis). Today I went to the ER and cried when they gave me a scan and commented on the white masses behind my eyeballs. I felt defeated.
But with my babies being older and a new life waiting for me I am taking the step toward treatment. I am biting the bullet and asking for a script of Tecfidera. No injections and mild side effects. I have so much going on in my life that I owe it to myself and everyone else to do this. But it still hurts.
That child is almost eleven now.
I set out on the Internet to learn as much as I could and was faced with every bleak and downtrodden, personal website known to man. No hope or humor. Also no escape as there were also posts disparaging people who didn't want to embrace their new future. It was a straight stab to the heart.
Because of this and all of the reports about how ill the injections make you, I spent most of the next decade refusing medication and hoping for reasons why. How can an illness be real if there is no real cause?
I had the liberation procedure done in 2011. I immediately felt better. Colors were vibrant again. I had so much energy. I was happy and confident enough to leave my abusive spouse and start my life over.
Last weekend I got engaged. Last weekend I had a relapse. I am currently sitting here with double vision (not optic neuritis). Today I went to the ER and cried when they gave me a scan and commented on the white masses behind my eyeballs. I felt defeated.
But with my babies being older and a new life waiting for me I am taking the step toward treatment. I am biting the bullet and asking for a script of Tecfidera. No injections and mild side effects. I have so much going on in my life that I owe it to myself and everyone else to do this. But it still hurts.