Losing the will and hope - 3 MONTHS ON GOING
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:18 am
Hi folks so let me say how glad i am to find this space.
Im Nel 25 , from the uk but living in Denmark. and for the past 3 months i've had "ms" like symptoms.Before this i've always been active (5:30am gym routine everyday , aerial artist , dancer and social butterfly)
Let me tell you my story.(apologies for any crappy grammar as such im extremely tired).
So 4/11/16 i started to experience a strange "sleepy" hand sensation , as if i had sat on it for a long period of time and it was tingly and numb.I briefly put it down to being on my laptop and off to bed i went, the next morning still strange but needless i went to school, i was 20 mins early so i thought perfect ill grab a coffee from 7/11 and head to class.I made a latte , checked my watch , and proceeded to remove said coffee with the tingly numb hand... it slipped through my hand- straight .. clean out my hand more like. I knew something was wrong.I apologied and paid for the coffee lying on the floor and left.I headed to school in a bit of a panic and called my doctor to arrange a visit.My doctor just told me to call the local health hotline and see what they said.I did .. and within a hour they recommended i saw a doctor at one of the hospitals by where my apartment is.I gathered my books and headed over there. The doctor couldn't find anything wrong , he said it wasn't a muscular pain and that i needed to see a neuro and arranged for me to visit one the next day...
the next day being a friday i got to the neuro unit and saw a doc who said she was unsure what it was but top of her list is "MS" i proceeded to say there is history of "MS" in my family (my auntie has RRMS past 30+ years). Anyhow she draws a lumbar puncture and away the fluid goes. She arranges for a MRI scan too. usual precaution of the lumbar , i went home and rested drank alot and did not much.Saturday had a quite day at home no head pain , no issues great i thought... until early hours sunday morning it started this intense head pain that hasn't really left me (ill explain more as i go on).Ok i thought this is the lumbar puncture and so i spent the day in bed.Then the real crap happened around 9pm in the evening i couldn't move anything in my body it was as if someone has strapped me to a board and i was stuck there.My boyfriend called the health hotline again and they told me to go straight to the hospitial again... so we grabbed a uber and went in.I got then transferred via ambulance to another hospital and told upon arrival "you just need a goods night sleep and here take this pinax" - so we went home , i took the pill and slept. The next day still stiff , the slightest movement gave me pain and i was super sensitive to hot and cold things... so again i spent the time in bed... sigh.
The following week i spent it going to and from the hospital everyday as they called me in for the MRI scan which never happened nor did the blood patch they promised they would do.So friday comes and finally i get the call come for the MRI , i attend have the scan and then get seen by a new doctor who tells me
"this is stress , and its all in your head , take some time out and relax" i have never been so offended or upset in my life.So i accept this ... numb hand , headache and fatigue and go home feeling deflated.My mri was "normal" they stated and my tests all appear normal.And with that i was told to go and if i was needed they would call me.
The strange feelings go on into november adding with it
* strange vision- everything appearing darker than usual
*extreme fatigue - sleeping 13+ hours a day
* numbness in left foot and odd twitching at times too.
1/12/16
still the same , no news , nothing to report everything is as above still and i just try to research what the hell is going on.
15/12/16
My birthday , i spent in bed with a horrific head pain i can only say was enough to make me want to black out my entire room and cry alot.The numb hand and arm were now causing me issues as i couldnt do anything basic like hold a knife and fork, make food and hold heavy grocery bags.I knew this is not normal
this continued on and off all over the festive season , and new year.
1/1/17
I get a mail saying can i go for a EMG scan , on the the 5th . Nothing new to report symptom wise
3/1 /17
I get this strange chest pain , i think oh god am i having a heart attack.Its like someone has a strap around my chest and they pull it super tight. It hurts alot and with that i end up in tears in bed while my helpless partner stands and watches ... he asks what he can do i reply nothing ..
4/1/17
Chest pain is still around , not as bad but surely still there and making itself known to me , headache is there too and my eyes feel like they want to give up on me.I attempted to try and go the gym , only to come home 10 mins after arriving there. Lucky enough its facing my apartment block so not too bad.
5/1/17
EMG day , 3/4 of the tests she couldn't do due to my headache still , and she did the left arm and let me go.Told me a doctor will see me on the 20th with results.
6/1/17
It's friday , the chest pain seems to have hidden itself so i try and get up to do things in the apartment , so far so good . evening comes and im exhausted so i crash around 7pm - and dont wake until the next day around 12.
the weekend i had a bad chest again .... and well headache from hell so i spent it sleeping in bed and hoping that itll all pass over.Starting to feel depressed by this point as i want to just have a good day if thats possible.
Monday - i wake up chest still giving me grief and my eyes/arm/head still not the best either.I tried to venture out and to get some basic groceries.Upon getting up the apartment stairs the chest pain hit me super bad and i nearly fell down the stairs luckily my partner saw and grabbed me before i did but the pain was soo intense.I called the neuro as soon as i got in the door.
and que to today Tuesday i saw a neuro who proceeded to tell me its IMPOSSIBLE i have ms as my mri was clear , and that i don't have anything that suggest MS no inflammation and no factors.... I argued with him for a hour about how ms can be present with no lesions , and no inflammation. He proceeded to tell me i was wrong , i said i want a mri on my spine and a mri with contrast to which he refused , i said if you know about ms and respect me you will check my scans. So he did and then he turns around and says i'll order you a MRI of the spine for within 14 days and take a ECG scan , my boyfriend sat looking at me like wow.He's never seen me be so stern on something but i'm learning i need to be my own advocate right now.Because these doctors clearly think there is nothing wrong with me and that i am going crazy..
please someone assure me im not insane ... because i slowly am starting to feel like i am. I just want a answer , or some pain medication for the headaches at least.
I have no idea what to do next now or where to turn too.
So any input or ideas would be amazing and id be ever so thankful.
Thankyou
Nel
Im Nel 25 , from the uk but living in Denmark. and for the past 3 months i've had "ms" like symptoms.Before this i've always been active (5:30am gym routine everyday , aerial artist , dancer and social butterfly)
Let me tell you my story.(apologies for any crappy grammar as such im extremely tired).
So 4/11/16 i started to experience a strange "sleepy" hand sensation , as if i had sat on it for a long period of time and it was tingly and numb.I briefly put it down to being on my laptop and off to bed i went, the next morning still strange but needless i went to school, i was 20 mins early so i thought perfect ill grab a coffee from 7/11 and head to class.I made a latte , checked my watch , and proceeded to remove said coffee with the tingly numb hand... it slipped through my hand- straight .. clean out my hand more like. I knew something was wrong.I apologied and paid for the coffee lying on the floor and left.I headed to school in a bit of a panic and called my doctor to arrange a visit.My doctor just told me to call the local health hotline and see what they said.I did .. and within a hour they recommended i saw a doctor at one of the hospitals by where my apartment is.I gathered my books and headed over there. The doctor couldn't find anything wrong , he said it wasn't a muscular pain and that i needed to see a neuro and arranged for me to visit one the next day...
the next day being a friday i got to the neuro unit and saw a doc who said she was unsure what it was but top of her list is "MS" i proceeded to say there is history of "MS" in my family (my auntie has RRMS past 30+ years). Anyhow she draws a lumbar puncture and away the fluid goes. She arranges for a MRI scan too. usual precaution of the lumbar , i went home and rested drank alot and did not much.Saturday had a quite day at home no head pain , no issues great i thought... until early hours sunday morning it started this intense head pain that hasn't really left me (ill explain more as i go on).Ok i thought this is the lumbar puncture and so i spent the day in bed.Then the real crap happened around 9pm in the evening i couldn't move anything in my body it was as if someone has strapped me to a board and i was stuck there.My boyfriend called the health hotline again and they told me to go straight to the hospitial again... so we grabbed a uber and went in.I got then transferred via ambulance to another hospital and told upon arrival "you just need a goods night sleep and here take this pinax" - so we went home , i took the pill and slept. The next day still stiff , the slightest movement gave me pain and i was super sensitive to hot and cold things... so again i spent the time in bed... sigh.
The following week i spent it going to and from the hospital everyday as they called me in for the MRI scan which never happened nor did the blood patch they promised they would do.So friday comes and finally i get the call come for the MRI , i attend have the scan and then get seen by a new doctor who tells me
"this is stress , and its all in your head , take some time out and relax" i have never been so offended or upset in my life.So i accept this ... numb hand , headache and fatigue and go home feeling deflated.My mri was "normal" they stated and my tests all appear normal.And with that i was told to go and if i was needed they would call me.
The strange feelings go on into november adding with it
* strange vision- everything appearing darker than usual
*extreme fatigue - sleeping 13+ hours a day
* numbness in left foot and odd twitching at times too.
1/12/16
still the same , no news , nothing to report everything is as above still and i just try to research what the hell is going on.
15/12/16
My birthday , i spent in bed with a horrific head pain i can only say was enough to make me want to black out my entire room and cry alot.The numb hand and arm were now causing me issues as i couldnt do anything basic like hold a knife and fork, make food and hold heavy grocery bags.I knew this is not normal
this continued on and off all over the festive season , and new year.
1/1/17
I get a mail saying can i go for a EMG scan , on the the 5th . Nothing new to report symptom wise
3/1 /17
I get this strange chest pain , i think oh god am i having a heart attack.Its like someone has a strap around my chest and they pull it super tight. It hurts alot and with that i end up in tears in bed while my helpless partner stands and watches ... he asks what he can do i reply nothing ..
4/1/17
Chest pain is still around , not as bad but surely still there and making itself known to me , headache is there too and my eyes feel like they want to give up on me.I attempted to try and go the gym , only to come home 10 mins after arriving there. Lucky enough its facing my apartment block so not too bad.
5/1/17
EMG day , 3/4 of the tests she couldn't do due to my headache still , and she did the left arm and let me go.Told me a doctor will see me on the 20th with results.
6/1/17
It's friday , the chest pain seems to have hidden itself so i try and get up to do things in the apartment , so far so good . evening comes and im exhausted so i crash around 7pm - and dont wake until the next day around 12.
the weekend i had a bad chest again .... and well headache from hell so i spent it sleeping in bed and hoping that itll all pass over.Starting to feel depressed by this point as i want to just have a good day if thats possible.
Monday - i wake up chest still giving me grief and my eyes/arm/head still not the best either.I tried to venture out and to get some basic groceries.Upon getting up the apartment stairs the chest pain hit me super bad and i nearly fell down the stairs luckily my partner saw and grabbed me before i did but the pain was soo intense.I called the neuro as soon as i got in the door.
and que to today Tuesday i saw a neuro who proceeded to tell me its IMPOSSIBLE i have ms as my mri was clear , and that i don't have anything that suggest MS no inflammation and no factors.... I argued with him for a hour about how ms can be present with no lesions , and no inflammation. He proceeded to tell me i was wrong , i said i want a mri on my spine and a mri with contrast to which he refused , i said if you know about ms and respect me you will check my scans. So he did and then he turns around and says i'll order you a MRI of the spine for within 14 days and take a ECG scan , my boyfriend sat looking at me like wow.He's never seen me be so stern on something but i'm learning i need to be my own advocate right now.Because these doctors clearly think there is nothing wrong with me and that i am going crazy..
please someone assure me im not insane ... because i slowly am starting to feel like i am. I just want a answer , or some pain medication for the headaches at least.
I have no idea what to do next now or where to turn too.
So any input or ideas would be amazing and id be ever so thankful.
Thankyou
Nel