scared I have ppms-need help
Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:09 pm
Hello, this is my first post and a bit long so i apologize. I am a 23 year old female.
July 2016 I woke up one morning feeling like one of my legs was "numb". not entirely numb but numb in a sense that it felt "different".
I also noticed a bit of weakness in right leg, not enough to affect my walking however. Two days prior to this I had had a pretty bad stomach flu where I had a fever and vomiting. The numbness /weakness didn't go away after awhile and i did the worst thing possible and googled my symptoms. MS was the first that popped up and my symptoms matched. Even before the numbness started I would have occasional moments where I felt like i was slightly unbalanced but nothing lasted and nothing was severe. One night i also experienced pretty bad virtgo while laying in bed but that has not happened again.
I immediately freaked myself out concerned I had MS and would therefore suffer a terrible miserable life to come. I seriously was a COMPLETE mess, about to check myself into a mental hospital.
I went to the doctor in August and told him my concerns, He said it could be a number of things and gave me a blood test. After the blood test I didn't hear back from the doctor and basically blew everything off. I was still scared and concerned the numbness didnt go away, but after awhile I stopped thinking about it and these symptoms didnt really bother me. Fast forward to now, February 2017 and these feelings have not gone away. The numbness in my leg is still there, although it hasent gotten any worse. Whats concerning me is the weakness. It is still there and feels about the same. However, i am now experiencing tingling in my legs and feet, and tingling in my other leg and foot now. I have researched alot about the types of MS and i am concerned it is the progressive type. Because, 1) numbness and tingling has not gone away, 2) i now feel tingling/numbness in other leg, 3) i know feel pain in all of my body, my legs, my ams, everything. I know symptoms can last a long time with RRMS, but it seems like it has now progressed to my other leg. I still suffer from occasional balance issues, although its not severe. I am TERRIFIED. I could handle RRMS but PPMS sounds terrifying and depressing. I am only 23 and would more than likely be in a wheelchair in the my 30's. I could accept needing a cane or chair for when im old, but this is too much. I am a single mom of three boys, under the age of 4 and I am heartbroken. I cant'concentrate or eat, all i want to do is sleep. I walk around in a zombie state obsessed with this condition and focusing on my body and every little tingle or painful feelings. I know i sound ridiculous since I am not Dx'd yet, but I dont know what else it could be. It really feels like this is the course of PPMS. It has gotten so bad I will sit and cry. I've thought about what would happen if I were dx'd with PPMS. I've considered letting my parents adopt my children and living alone and disabled so noone has to experience my pain or see this happen to me. I am going to the doctor soon to start the process of getting tested. Any words of wisdom, advice, or personal experience would be appreciated.
July 2016 I woke up one morning feeling like one of my legs was "numb". not entirely numb but numb in a sense that it felt "different".
I also noticed a bit of weakness in right leg, not enough to affect my walking however. Two days prior to this I had had a pretty bad stomach flu where I had a fever and vomiting. The numbness /weakness didn't go away after awhile and i did the worst thing possible and googled my symptoms. MS was the first that popped up and my symptoms matched. Even before the numbness started I would have occasional moments where I felt like i was slightly unbalanced but nothing lasted and nothing was severe. One night i also experienced pretty bad virtgo while laying in bed but that has not happened again.
I immediately freaked myself out concerned I had MS and would therefore suffer a terrible miserable life to come. I seriously was a COMPLETE mess, about to check myself into a mental hospital.
I went to the doctor in August and told him my concerns, He said it could be a number of things and gave me a blood test. After the blood test I didn't hear back from the doctor and basically blew everything off. I was still scared and concerned the numbness didnt go away, but after awhile I stopped thinking about it and these symptoms didnt really bother me. Fast forward to now, February 2017 and these feelings have not gone away. The numbness in my leg is still there, although it hasent gotten any worse. Whats concerning me is the weakness. It is still there and feels about the same. However, i am now experiencing tingling in my legs and feet, and tingling in my other leg and foot now. I have researched alot about the types of MS and i am concerned it is the progressive type. Because, 1) numbness and tingling has not gone away, 2) i now feel tingling/numbness in other leg, 3) i know feel pain in all of my body, my legs, my ams, everything. I know symptoms can last a long time with RRMS, but it seems like it has now progressed to my other leg. I still suffer from occasional balance issues, although its not severe. I am TERRIFIED. I could handle RRMS but PPMS sounds terrifying and depressing. I am only 23 and would more than likely be in a wheelchair in the my 30's. I could accept needing a cane or chair for when im old, but this is too much. I am a single mom of three boys, under the age of 4 and I am heartbroken. I cant'concentrate or eat, all i want to do is sleep. I walk around in a zombie state obsessed with this condition and focusing on my body and every little tingle or painful feelings. I know i sound ridiculous since I am not Dx'd yet, but I dont know what else it could be. It really feels like this is the course of PPMS. It has gotten so bad I will sit and cry. I've thought about what would happen if I were dx'd with PPMS. I've considered letting my parents adopt my children and living alone and disabled so noone has to experience my pain or see this happen to me. I am going to the doctor soon to start the process of getting tested. Any words of wisdom, advice, or personal experience would be appreciated.