Maybe I've gone through too much, it is kind of hard to get used to being "normal" again. Part of me still doesn't believe it (for e.g. that I can have big stress (or simple trip, or going out) and have no major relapse which would tie me down for months at a time) and maybe part of me does not want to believe it, because I will just have to get out of the comfort zone of "being sick and having an excuse" (sometimes). It's funny, but I grew up with this disease, and now I have to literally re-invent my old self. Even my immune system is waking up, I am getting sick again, going through all the childhood diseases. I think that I got into the phase "OK, this works, great, now what?"
And the experience of sufferer simply does not want to let go of me, I am still cautious. It's absurd. Maybe that's why I am looking for all these reasons. Maybe I just think I need a psychologist.
MS is tricky, very very tricky. Personally, I do not think I will ever be wholly cured.
Sorry, just needed to unload, it's like 3am and I can't sleep.
Wish you all the best and thnx for your support.