trouble with friend not understanding?

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trouble with friend not understanding?

Postby brightwings » Thu May 24, 2012 3:03 pm

Hi folks - my first visit here. I have MS - DX'd now over 10 years ago.
I was just wondering - anyone have issues with friends not understanding the difficultes of MS - and especially the cognitive problems?
I had a disagreement with a close friend - she hurt my feelings, and I got angry. Sure , I over reacted. After things cooled off, I apologised. I tried to explain that sometimes this happens, and I can't always controll it. She basically said that isn't good enough; I need to learn to controll it - put systems in place... and wasn't I just playing on the 'I have MS' ??? This was two weeks ago - and since then it has really bothered me. I hate having MS. I never mention it to anyone. Even when in a lot of pain I don't mention it. For me life has to go on and I do the best with what each day brings.
SO - is it just me, or should I expect more from a 'friend?... :?
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Re: trouble with friend not understanding?

Postby lyndacarol » Thu May 24, 2012 6:06 pm

Welcome to ThisIsMS, brightwings. It is NOT you! A close friend will be compassionate and understanding. If you have lost the relationship with this person, this was not a genuine "friend." MS has a way of sifting out real friends.

You have found a community of new, understanding, supportive friends here at this site. We welcome you and all your questions.
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Re: trouble with friend not understanding?

Postby MScrusade » Fri May 25, 2012 12:57 pm

yeah i did but i learned a lovely and simple but smart way to explain what multiple sclerosis is, basically i tell my friends it's like the immune system attacks the myline sheeth and in leyance terms it's like when you peel the pvc from electric cables, the signles dont go along within the cables but they shoot out in all directions getting mixed up so your sockets wont work or when they do it's not they way you want them to the lights flicker or are very dimmly lit, hope that helped?

kinda just came to me when i was plugging my phone to the charger when i was texting a friend
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Re: trouble with friend not understanding?

Postby brightwings » Sun May 27, 2012 1:36 am

Hi - thanks MScrusade - I have used that same analogy myself before too! It is a good one.
Thanks Lyndacarol - you really start to wonder after a while, and so I guess I needed some kind of affirmation :-) It has been a journey in leanrning to live with MS, and I had been unprepared for the cognitive changes too ...
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Re: trouble with friend not understanding?

Postby sorshya » Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:02 pm

HI There,

I'm new here too, and I have had a similar response from friends and am still not used to the cognitive changes. Part of my challenge is that I look "fine" very little mobility issues, mostly just a blip in balance from time to time. My favorite is when people think they know "exactly what I mean". Or when they're "tired too". I even had someone talk to me about disabled people the other day - she had just gotten a new part-time job in a liquor store and was explaining that she wasn't able to serve someone who is under the influence and they were taught how to differentiate between somoene who had been drinking and someone who had a disability. Then she says to me..... and I quote......"Well, handicapped people don't drink anyways so it should be easy to tell the difference."
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't you're right"
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