A forum to talk about the general challenges of daily life with MS.


Postby jimmylegs » Sat Oct 14, 2006 3:25 pm

well folks, i have been in australia since the beginning of july. my bf doesn't make any effort to communicate with me, he is not interested. it is very one-sided and hurts. he is mad at me leaving my job and returning to school in 2004, and i think he was relieved when i had my ms attack because i couldn't come on the australia exchange. he was actually quite supportive and kind when i was the most down. he was shocked and seemed displeased when i arranged to go for the following semester, health status permitting. i stopped telling him as much about my plans because he is always disapproving and so he heard about my trip to italy in december secondhand, which i'm sure made him even more offended. he doesn't like how i'm spending all this money, and he even got on my case about wanting to donate monthly to foster parents plan back when i was earning plenty. also when he was having money troubles i would try to help him out but when the tables are turned he doesn't even think of offering. also he thinks i should be saving it for a house down payment, but he won't commit to a savings plan so i don't understand. he is a much bigger fan of using credit and not paying it off each month too, compared to me.

on the other hand we have known each other since high school and been together 10 years and we are pretty compatible in that we have pretty similar interests and cultural backgrounds and basic expectations about life. and he is honest and trustworthy (if unavailable). although he doesn't actually like me to share his interests i don't think... i think he actually feels proprietary about them! anyway i asked him recently to just email me without me emailing him first and he said he would try. i mentioned that my family calls me weekly and i sent him all the details for the cheap international calling, since they don't have the same deal here in oz, and he hasn't called or even tried to set up a time. last time we messaged (i chatted him first of course) he ended up giving me crap about my 5 month "vacation" here in australia (as fun as it is here, i don't think you pull off 90s for your degree transcript when you're on vacation!) i sent him a nice email two days ago, just telling him about my week, and asking after his family and so forth, to be positive and stop not sending him stuff because he doesn't send to me. i haven't heard back. just could have gone somewhere for a few days i guess, but his business is all internet... he is never away from email for days...

so what the hell am i a bad person for doing what i want with my life? should i stay home and work and get a mortgage so that he can just stay at work all the time and ignore me? or would he stop ignoring me if i went back to work? i don't know. i don't think he used to be like this. when we first met he talked about going to australia, and i was so pleased when i saw i could get a chance with school. i worked hard for a year of hoop jumping to get the marks for an interview, and when i finally said okay guess what, it's on the horizon, i think he just imagined it wouldn't really happen, but as it got closer and started to look real, he decided to say he'd forfeited his dream of going to australia to be with me, and it wasn't fair for me to go now. also he used to encourage me to get out there and help others in the world because i used to get so upset about doing nothing, but now that it looks as if i might really be heading out to various places for months at a time, he is disapproving. i think basically he is trying to convey how he feels being left alone in canada, but he leaves me alone for work all the time when i'm right there, so what's the difference? he will never plan a holiday, not even a weekend, it always has to be last minute, if he can make it. oh well i could go on but i'm just rambling now and have more important things to do! essay due tomorrow and i'm just procrastinating! at least it's only 7:40am here. ttfn i am going to go make a tea and get to work :)
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Postby REDHAIRANDTEMPER » Sun Oct 15, 2006 6:46 am

i complete understand what ya are going thru...i think you did the right thing by going and doing this for yourself.....because ya might not get a chance later either cause of work or cause of the disease...i went to key west this june with my boyfriend..who at times is wonderful but at other times is the total opposite..ya never know which way they are going to be when ya talk to them....i loved the trip and thanked him for taking me.....but now it seems like he is always using that to make me feel bad or something...ya know what i mean...i really think ya are doing the right thing there girl.....if ya have the chance then do it.....and dont regret it one no you arent a bad person or anything like that.....get the stuff in you sure he will come around..and if he doesnt then its his loss...he will be the one lossing out on a relationship with keep your head up and have a good time...

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Postby jimmylegs » Sun Oct 15, 2006 7:22 am

hi chris :) sigh why can't they be nice more often eh! ya i do have a good time here, except when he gets on my case or doesn't reply to my email or bother to check if i'm online for a chat. i'll get thru it all though! and keep doing what i have to do! thx :)
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