Thanks for your input - I really appreciate it. You are right of course, any major life change takes some adjusting to - I just did not anticipate any negative feelings about this, so I think I surprised myself with how I felt! I was so looking forward to the absolute relief of not having to struggle every day to do something that I was no longer able to do and the constant worry that I was gonna drop a ball at work, and of course, that relief is there...I am feeling ok right now - I suppose I should expect some ups and downs before it settles and I find a new routine, and some new friends who don't work!
I should stop whinning about something that many people on this site would love to be this easy. I know I am fortunate, so I will suck it up and get on with things, because that is what we do, right? I will love my new life - my husband bought me a hammock, what's not to love? Except I still feel like I am on leave and will be going back to work soon.....But there is a little kernal of excitement starting to bubble somewhere inside now, and I am determined to nurture that kernal until it takes over...
Thanks to all who have listened and given support - it is your input and this site that has planted that little kernal...You guys are great.