We've been talking alot about this in our home this past year. My 40 year old brother had a massive stroke last September. He was out riding his motorcycle, lost control of the bike and died when he hit the ground. He left behind a wife, three kids and my whole family, parents included. It was totally unexpected, and a horrible shock. But...my brother went fast, on his beloved bike and died before he knew what hit him. Those of us left behind will miss him forever...we're pretty pissed off.
On the other hand...having a horrible, debilitating disease like MS means dealing with pain and all sorts of "small deaths" everyday. You have a right to be pissed. My husband's only beginning his journey, and he's still glad to be breathing.
My heart goes up and out to you, Robbie. I can't begin to understand your pain...but I want you to know that I've appreciated your candor. No one else knows how you face each day, so I won't try to cheer you, but I'll say I'm glad you hang out here.