Surrendering

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Surrendering

Postby scdl » Sun Feb 28, 2010 8:43 pm

I was diagnosed 5 years ago with relasping/remitting. Since then I had 2 minor attacks (oral steroids) and now 2 major ones requiring IV steroids and this time a hospitalzation. Each time before this I recovered and felt optimistic that I could handle this disease as I was. Hell I could still walk and work even though a struggle I was luckly. And I still am even though I didn't recover from this last attack. My balance and gait are now very unsteady and I should be using the cane they gave me (NOT YET!). This one did me in. I have kept my head up for 5 years, masked the discomfort I constantly have to the level of an Academy Award. I'm at the point where I want to surrender to this disease. Not give up by any means but accept it for what it is. It's the stangest feeling living this way isn't it?
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Postby LR1234 » Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:58 am

Hey S,
I would have a quick look through the boards to see if there is anything you could do to help yourself. I am about to try the Klenner protocol, there is also LDN, antibiotics, and healthy eating. It might help you recover from your attack quicker x
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Postby jimmylegs » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:07 am

you may wish to check out the links in my signature, below:
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Postby shye » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:33 am

scdl,
yes, be realistic, admit you have the disease, but don't give up the pursuit of health! (easier said than done sometimes for sure). I find diet to be the most important--get rid of what you are allergic to (WELL worth getting food allergy tests-you often don't realize which foods are undermining your health--often is wheat, grains, and milk). Nutritional supplements, antioxidants are very helpful. Chiropractic care is of great help. If you read thru this site, there are many helpful suggestions.

Good luck...
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Postby L » Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:37 pm

I always recommend high dose Vitamin D3

I'm a big, big fan of high dose Vitamin D3

http://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclerosis ... s-relapses

It messes with EBV in B cells.. EBV is implicated in the auto immune response within us with MS..

And follow the dietry advice above. I find cutting out saturated fats as best I could was very helpful.
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Postby Loobie » Tue Mar 02, 2010 5:59 am

I had to accept it in order to KEEP working. When I had the attitude that I just couldn't take it, because I hadn't accepted my limitations, it ate me up. I'll never surrender, but I need to acknowledge that I have this going on. To not is self destructive, in my case anyway.
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Postby sou » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:35 am

I can't agree more with Loobie.

I have surrendered too, but it is quite boring having to hope for death to come to relieve you from this misery. No sane person is going to accuse you for surrendering. It is your right. But, believe me, it is boring. Very boring. Very very boring. And it does not work.

I hate people behaving as if MS was the most terrific thing that happened to them. I think that their lives must had been really miserable before their diagnosis. You don't need to become like them in order to cope with MS. And, definitely, you have many more things to do than waiting when the good lord will take you to another world. Because if there isn't such a world, we are all in big trouble. lol.

I wish you the best and don't give up. Advice from an ex-surrendered.

sou

PS: And have a look at those veins.
Shortest joke: "We may not be able to cure MS but we can manage its symptoms."
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Postby chrishasms » Tue Mar 02, 2010 9:49 am

MS saved my life. I was a huge party goer and didn't really empathize with anyone. I have often said God was nice enough to humble me so I could truly appreciate how precious life, and other people are.

I hate MS but not the lessons it taught me.
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Postby sou » Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:29 am

I would happily take the lesson without the rest of the MS stuff...
Shortest joke: "We may not be able to cure MS but we can manage its symptoms."
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Postby ariehs » Tue Mar 02, 2010 11:57 pm

Sometimes success can set you up for a greater fall afterwards. Tonight I am experiencing that. Don't let times like that win, though. Experience them, as you must, but you KNOW that you will recover (emotionally, if not otherwise) and continue to struggle. That's not just MS, that's everything in life.
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Postby Wonderfulworld » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:39 pm

I agree with Loobie and Sou.
For years I felt I had to keep working fulltime in order to prove to myself that MS hadn't 'won'. I was being stupid. It had won - I wasted 10 years in a state of absolute exhaustion and lost so much. Now I've 'surrendered' to an extent - admitted that I can't work fulltime anymore, or at least until they find something better for MS, and my quality of life has actually improved.

I hate people behaving as if MS was the most terrific thing that happened to them. I think that their lives must had been really miserable before their diagnosis.

Ah yes, the Pollyanna syndrome. It sets my teeth on edge. I think that also maybe their MS tends to be quite mild and hasn't limited their lives to an extent that they realise what an untamed MonSter is like.

But there is a major difference in 'surrender' to fatalistic thinkings about how your MS will evolve, and in adapting to circumstance. Cane - is it a sign of surrender or a clever adaptation? If it helps you get about, lessens fatigue, increases your confidence in walking and has other positive effects, then it is not a sign of surrender. It's the difference between how the media report on people with disabilities like 'wheelchair bound' or 'wheelchair user'. For me, giving up fulltime work was the ultimate sign of surrender and giving up, or so I thought. But I have adapted and no longer see it as that.
8)
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Concussus Resurgo
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RR-MS dx 1998 and Coeliac dx 2003
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Copaxone, Cymbalta. EPO, Fish Oils, Vitamin D3 2000 IU daily, Cal/Mag/Zinc, Multivitamin/mineral, Co-Enzyme Q10, Probiotics, Milk Thistle.
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