My disease is at a point where i feel like i just want to end it. Im 24 years old, and my symptoms have been constant for 2 years and are eolvivng into other things. My status right now, i have constant buzzing spasms etc all over rmy body. My right eye constantly hurts, i lost ALL sensation in my penis(By far the worse possible symptom) and my legs are becoming more stiff and painful. My bladder sensation is off and i have trouble understanding when to urinate. And it seems I have no clear signs of remitting EVER unless this is some how a 2 year attack that is getting worse before it gets better.
I feel like i have nothing left to keep me going. I lost my job, i feel terrible health wise, I lost my girlfriend of 4 years. Now i started living life again, i met another girl and we are starting to get close. However, what destroys me inside, is knowing i couldnt even have sex with her becuase of this disease, I have 0 sensation in my penis. It is so depressing and brutal i can barely take it.
I just feel like what the hell is the point. Im misreable, my symptoms aren't changing in a posiitve way, I have no job or money, everything i have or want is wasting away. For the men on this board, having 0 use of your penis is absoutely debilitating mentally, esp as single guy at 24 wanting to find love.
It's really hard for me to accept a "Normal" life is gone forever. I don't know how much longer I can take it
. I have no idea where to start in getting a "life" again. My motivation for it is 0 because of my health. Feels hopeless.