MS, getting married, immigration.

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MS, getting married, immigration.

Postby manana » Thu Dec 26, 2013 12:18 pm


This is the first time I am starting a topic ever in any forum, so, I hope any flaws I may have will be forgiven.

Here is my situation:
"I am a 28 yrs old guy from Iran. I have been in a committing relationship for more than 3 years with a girl who began to show symptoms of MS (optical neuritis and light numbness in her fingers) about a year into the relationship. Her brain MRI showed possibility of demyelinating disease and thus she was immediately hospitalized to take medication and undergo further examination. She was diagnosed with CIS at the time, but prescribed to continue taking her pills as her symptoms fully remitted. She has been completely well ever since.

I had started the process of immigrating to Australia sometime around the beginning of our relationship and am now able to do that (of course she was aware of this decision from the beginning). She also has the opportunity to immigrate to UK as her sister lives there. This has risen up some serious decisions to be made: Marriage and immigration

I am now thinking of marrying her in a year, maybe sometime after I move to Australia. Up to now, I had never taken her illness seriously enough. But now, as the thought of actually marrying her is getting more and more serious in my mind, I am getting more worried about everything as well. I talked to her doctor about a month ago to find out everything about her illness (she was there too) and, somehow to our surprise, was told that she has MS. Although we kind of knew that already, but it was now official, and I have been struggling with all sorts of questions and thoughts in my mind ever since...

I am not a rich guy, and this immigration thing is hopefully going to be a fresh start to a financially stable life for me. I deeply love her and want all the bests for her. I want to be sure that I can actually take care of her and that she can be provided with the medical care she may need, at anytime. I am thinking of moving to Australia 3 - 6 months before she comes there to me. I am a logical guy, who thinks about all the aspects before making a decision. I do not make my decisions just by my heart and it makes things a lot harder in my situation.

I am now faced with some major questions:
1. Do I love her enough to be happy with her despite her illness?
I think I do. But I also have in my mind all the ups & downs of the past years.
I think I will know the answer to this for sure, after I move to Australia and live there for a few months, alone.

2. Do I want to make such 2 big life events as "immigration" and "marriage" happen at the same time in my life?
Hell no!!! It is freaking me out! But, she says she needs some sort of stability so that she can maintain her calmness while I'm away (which is also important for her well-being). Thus, marriage before immigration.

3. Isn't it better for her to move to UK with her sister (they are very very close and love each other so much)?
She will have a much more stable life there. She will be able to pursue her life dreams there. She will not have to experience many stressful events.
BUT, we will have to break up or be far away from each other for a long time, which will really hurt her (and me of course).

I know this was all too long, sorry for that.

I would appreciate any comments, answers, thoughts, recommendations and etc... on my questions and/or situation.

Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:35 am


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