Of course it's terrible to have a dx of MS. Who would want it? I, like you, have lived my life in a very clean-living way. The reality is, and not wanting to lapse into cliches, but bad things happen to good people. No, life will not continue as it was. It never does. I do see MS as a test for me, though. I am being tested, as are the people in my life. Sad to say, I've had real problems with the people around me. I have accepted my "life change" with resolve. Yes, MS sucks (there's even a website by that name, have you seen it?) I am not one of those "MS is the best thing that ever happened to me" people either. That sentiment really frustrates me. I don't feel in tune with that sentiment at all. That being said, I went to a MS group after my dx and there were people whose lives had been very affected by their MS and those who had had very mild courses. All assured me that MS was better to have than a lot of diseases and there are many things you can still do. I have chosen to focus on that. Perhaps substituting new activites for old ones I have had to leave behind (enjoying a simple walk, for instance....) You say you will never be able to.... if you start out thinking this way, you never will be able to do what you say you never will be able to do. This life and living with this disease is a real crap shoot. Still, as I'm sure you're aware, we who live with MS now do have some options that were not available in the past.
#1. CRAB treatment for those who have access to it and choose it
#2. Diet information to help us live well (Swank diet? Dr. George Jelinek's approaches?)
#3. Apparently the march has gone forward in terms of treating symptoms and using assisting tools
#4. Research does continue and more breakthroughs will follow both in terms of reaching a cure and in terms of better treatment of disease course and symptoms
#5. Information and communication is more accessible in the days of the PC and internet; it's easier to get and share good information.
#6. Technology and knowledge are advancing. That will help us get closer to a cure.
I know it's hard at times, but I thought up a phrase, "Choose to live in hope." Sometimes, it takes some mental reframing and redirecting of energies. But, hope is free and it can sure ease the burdens that come with MS. I choose to read up on all the research, gather all the information I can, and hope.
Also, I want to share with you that other diseases aren't that great either and an amputation isn't so easy. My mother just had her leg amputated because of a combo of things--a bad break/II diabetes/oteoporisis. The loss is great and the adjustment is difficult. It has changed her life, too and she has had to give up some of the things she loves or things she just took for granted before.
Living with unpredictability isn't easy. Still, anyone could get hit by a car tomorrow or wake up with an aneurysm. We never know what will happen to us. I realized that the unpredictability bothered me, so I analyzed it a step further. I realized that there were a few things I could do about managing my finances that could give me some peace of mind. I say, spend some time analyzing what really worries you about the unpredictability of it all and look at which variables you can change. Then, make the changes you may and give yourself a little padding where you can, if you can.
I know you said you will be weaning yourself from this site. Perhaps you will never read this. Still, I felt a need to share this with you. Also, in case you haven't expored the Swank diet, there is a Swank Foundation website. Interesting info about linking saturated fat and trans fat intake to MS progression. If you can limit that, Dr. Swank believed you could slow the prgression of MS. Check out the site. I highly recommend it!
Well, bromley, I wish you better days ahead.