Bob, Chris and Lew,
First, allow me to humbly acknowledge the pilgrimage you are on. I realize that you are much farther ahead on the path, and I salute each milestone, and the accompanying benchmarks you have experienced as you move along this unintended journey. I have no doubt you have earned each and every battle scar and/or medal.
Second...thank you for your candor, and willingness to assist me in what indeed seems like a desperate hour. You're all right on several levels, and I will take your advice to heart.
Bob, thank you for reminding me, that my husband, Steve, feels comfortable enough with me to express his feelings of rage and frustration. As soon as I read your words, I mentally smacked myself in the forehead and said, "Of course." Chris, thank you for the directional cues regarding the stages of grief. I forgot that they can be used for circumstances outside actual loss/death. I confess, however, that I didn't realize a person could move so quickly through them (my husband is weaving through them like cones in a traffic pattern). And your statements made me realize that this actually is a loss. He's losing much more than his well-being. He's losing his identity. (Well, he's not losing all of his identity, but he's losing a large part of who he was.) That has to be incredibly demoralizing. The fact that he is a police lieutenant seems to underscore what he will be losing. He is used to being able to overpower the, "Bad guys." And he can't strong arm MS. And Lew...I couldn't agree more. Knowledge is power. It is a code I live by. I pursue knowledge like a miner in the 1849 Gold Rush, and trust me, I've been all over the Internet, reading, reading and reading. I actually feel frustrated, because I can't force the information into my brain at warp speed. Still, it's going to take awhile before I can assimilate all that I have read, and will continue to read. I'm envious of all of you. You possess so much information on the topic, and I still stumble around, probably foolishly, unable to fluently converse on the topic of MS. But THAT WILL CHANGE eventually.
Finally, I'm always grateful when someone takes the time to thoughtfully respond to my frantic queries.
I am in your debt.