Depression can arise from many sources, in my case many.
My upbringing was difficult- both my parents were alcoholics, I was molested, and I had to care for my dying mother and younger brother while I was in high school. Long before MS, I had plenty of reasons to be depressed (please spare me from the pity, I mention this all out of honesty).
Initially, I handled my diagnosis well, but when I had to leave nursing school, lost my mobility, and was no longer able to work, things started to fall apart. To add to things, my husband hasn't adjusted well- HE fell apart- he was used to me taking care of everything and being the strong one. I still do, and I still am. In the meantime, he's getting better.
So, I've had past trauma, the effects of MS the disease, and the effects of interferon treatment contributing to my depression. It's been hard to treat.
I don't believe in suicide either, but I couldn't help the suicidal ideations when they came. I've always been able to raise my hand and ask for help when I've needed it, and I've been able to manage those thoughts. They're fleeting thoughts now, with the help of 3 psych meds and bi-weekly talk therapy.
A difficult life has acclimated me to adversary, but the same life led me to identify strongly as a nurse. Realizing that 8 months after diagnosis, I could no longer fulfill that role lead me to an identity crisis. I really don't think that my past history of depression, the pathogenesis of MS, and the effects of interferons helped.