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Hello

Postby derning » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:48 pm

Hi everyone. I'm a web professional and have never posted on a forum before, but this situation is forcing me to reach out.

My husband likely has MS- the diagnosis is pretty much done, just a couple more visits to the neurologist, and that's it.

I am so sad, and yet I'm not sure why- it seems that the disease isn't a death sentence. How do I support him through this? I keep wanting to try to make him laugh, tell him everything is fine- any advice for a young wife?
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welcome!!!

Postby jimmylegs » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:53 pm

hi sweetheart! i don't know about everyone else but i imagine many of us here feel the ache when a new introduction is posted.

the early days are ouchy. one good thing is that you have found a supportive community so early!

personally i don't think laughter is going to be a feasible option for the newly dx'd... wasn't for me - if it is, that's one awesome character you have for a partner!

at the extremes of reaction you have woe-is-me victim vs bring-it-on fighter and there are plenty of fighters here, i'm sure you will find a path that suits, and lots of friends to commiserate with along the way.

as for how to support him... well i don't know him but for me reading everything i could from the medical journals for six months put the ground back under my feet a little. i've managed to back off on the obsessive reading and have attempted another semester of school at this point. couldn't have managed it at first that's for sure! but the unknown is fear so imho the best thing to do is know thy enemy and thy self. oh neato i went and found the whole quotation, i like it!:

Know thy enemy and know thyself, find naught in fear for 100 battles. Know thyself but not thy enemy, find level of loss and victory. Know thy enemy but not thyself, wallow in defeat every time.
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sun_Tzu
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Postby Arron » Fri Jul 28, 2006 6:31 pm

welcome to the site derning. What you're feeling is normal, and you can only imagine what HIS feelings are.

You must not obsess over the 'what-if's'. In my opinion, if MS teaches one grand lesson, it is "Be at peace with uncertainty." It is an extremely unpredictable condition, and worry doesn't help anything.

There are now 6 approved therapies available. Myriad more are in the pipeline (see the Drug Pipeline forum), not to mention the passionate self-experimentation with alternative therapies that many of our members are performing for the benefit of themselves and others. This is an area of INTENSE research. The attitude of This is MS is that through knowledge, patients are empowered to have HOPE. Read these boards, educate yourself, ask questions. You are NEVER out of options.

This is my opinion, but you WILL look at your husband one day and say: "Remember when you had MS?"
Disclaimer: Any information you find on this site should not be considered medical advice. All decisions should be made with the consent of your doctor, otherwise you are at your own risk.
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Postby derning » Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:47 am

Thank you so much for your replies. I'm trying to just be there to listen and support him- I know that he is dealing with so much more than I know or can understand. I'm sure I'll be around here quite a bit- and I'll encourage him to do the same.

We'll be at the lake today- which always takes our mind off of our woes- nothing like a nice refreshing lake in the hot Kansas summer.

Thanks again for the kind replies and the quote.
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