my name really IS merrily, but I have decided to spell the darned name any way I like it. (the mom likes marilee)
So yes, I am abit rebellious when it comes to my mom, we just rub each other that way. If anyone needs a travel agent, contact me, she can try sending you on a guilt trip, bags packed and all.!! & believe me she is good.
I truely had no intention of introducing myself thru a critical remark about my mom, so I shall go on.
I just turned 59. OH<OH this is only the 3rd time I have written it & it seems so OLD. Yet I, other than the M>S than wants to follow me around and has since 1996, I think and feel younger than what the mirror is trying to say!
I came to this site after trying to read a comparison mri report (is it in english?) but I got enough of the wrap up of it, to know with out a doubt, this:(verbatim) too many new lesions to count , and the last remark was patient has substancial burden of the disease of muliple sclerosis.
I cried and cried in the parking lot of the hospital where I went for the records, & just sat in my car in some kind of daze i have never known before. I mean, 2 hours had gone by, nurses shifts have changed and I cannot move. I think seeing all the 'crap' in black and white staring up at me made me the saddest I have been since 1996. I couldn't hide, deny, just cry.
However I did finally get home and sat in the dark and didn't answer my phone. The sound of a voice of someone nice would have started the crying even more.
I would like you to know I have never ever wondered WHY ME? I still don't , someone had to take up the statistic. why not me?
My concern is my depression, and its killing me, as I am known to be so strong, fun, and all that junk.
I take effexor, but maybe I have been on it too long-- it's been years. My therapy has always been with an interferon AVONEX THEN REBIF. My neurologist , knowing of my severe deppression said "stop the rebif until we meet again" which is next week.
I guess I am feeling lost, lonely and friendless as we know, no one wants to really know, How are you doing!! I need to vent, is that apparant.?
I apologize if the intro section should be about cutsie things like I live alone, want a small dog, have one son who lives about 20-30 minutes away. He's so cool. man, took him awhile to be very likeable, cuz what HE liked was every drug known to the human race.
I am proud and oh so happy to say that a few events happened to him that changed his world around and I am go grateful. You'd even like him ! ( he's single and the girls say, way good looking) I say this if anyone is around the age of 35 to 40 , I'll introduce you! He's so straight now that he asks me what I am taking when I take an aspirn, for gods sake. but better that way............
ok, I have critized mom, told you almost more about my son than myself, and cry baby'd re: an MRI comparison.
Well, I said it so I am gonna stick to it and hopefully you'll accept this as maybe my way of saying, geez i am glad someone is out there.