MS has changed me

[Jaded]

I realised this today. Ok so I knew it all along - all life events do this. But I am a shadow of my former self.

I have no shine, no bubbles left. I feel so isolated and I have been on my own for a long time now. I can't see how I will ever get into a relationship when I feel like a wreck. I want the old me back but I fear she has gone forever.

I devote a lot of time to trying to get better but sometimes I wonder what its's for.

I know I am in better shape that a lot of people with MS. But the spasticity in my knees and the constant challenges are wearing me out.

I'm seeing the docs tomorrow to change the HRT again. Maybe I should ask for some antidepressants.

How do you all cope?

[ElliotB]

Exercise (lots of it) is what I recommend the most, and mainly doing the things I enjoy and avoiding the things I don't as much as possible, and avoiding people with negative attitudes (this is critical). If you can, volunteer to help others. I also have a service animal (dog) that has made a huge difference - don't know if that is an option for you.

There are many anti-depressant drugs available that can also help you if necessary.

Hope you are feeling better soon!

[jimmylegs]

sorry to hear you're feeling low jaded :S in your case i always wonder how much the genetic piece is playing in :S are the docs doing anything for you along those lines?

[Jaded]

Genetic? Not sure what means JL.

Elliot - I had to slow down on the exercises recently and I do miss the endorphins. So you are right - I need to get back into my routine.

But still my life feels like I am just living to beat the ms…..

[Jaded]

Sorry folks. I am not sure how to delete this. I am sure we all have bad times.

If anyone knows how to delete please let me know.

Thanks

J x

[ElliotB]

No need to delete. It appears you know what you need to do. Now just do it!

[Jaded]

Thanks Elliot.

Ah JL, yes I know what you are referring to. Brain fog. Sorry

[EricDrake]

Excersising and avoiding people with negative attitude is really important to keep you in mood I agree.

After my diagnosis I want to a psychologist. I was always skeptical about psychology but I wanted to give it a try and so far I think it was a good choice, we talked about my issues and then he told me that we are going to need to do a "meditation & relaxing treatment/course". Honestly I have been there for 2 times so far but each time I came out I felt a little better. I ont know if it is a possible option for you but If you are able to go to one it might be a good choice. The hospital where my MS doc is, going to start a relaxation course aswell for MS patients maybe there is something similar in your areas aswell, it can make you feel lot better if you meet other people who are in the same shoes with optimistic views.

[aplkwst1]

Sorry your feeling down. Yes exercise is great to improve mood. A constructive hobby is great also. Maybe make a list of things that are positive that happen each day and when your feeling down take a review of that list to see what you have to be happy about. I am glad to see this topic posted as it is real and you should not feel bad for feeling bad, seriously I think your beating yourself up a bit.

Here is a funny story. My family did a vacation this past summer. My father has Multiple Myelma, a type of blood cancer. He is doing very well and was diagnosed almost 6 years ago now. We were in SD the badlands and had a very long day. The drive back was going to be long. He was getting pretty antsy in the car, so we decided to drive through the needles on the way back from the scenic loop. He was complaining about how terrible he felt and how long would it be for us to get back to the place we were staying and suddenly we started to see the amazing sites of the Needles. All of the sudden his mood improved and he was screaming to stop the car to take a picture! It was so fun to see the change. Just thought I would share as I thought it was pretty cute.

[StaryNight]

I know how you feel. MS has completely changed my life. Sometimes I look in the mirror and can't believe it...I just can't believe any of it but I fight it daily..I guess because I'm just not one to quit but it's hard, very hard and I have alot of those moments of just being so sick to death of this life now....So I completely understand. We all get down about this monster MS. You are not alone Here if you need to chat.

[Jaded]

Thank you for your replies.

I have fleeting moments when I remember how I felt before - and that makes me sad. But I don't give up. Because you can't can you?