Personal life ... if any ???

[VladFT]

Hi everyone,
I start by saying how grateful I am to this site and its people. That's the main help that I'm getting from.
The question that's eating me away from inside though is how you go about your personal life ? Not all of us got the wretched diagnosis having a partner or being in a marriage. Don't even dare mean that it's any easier to deal with...
Sure it's a whole baggage of problems too. But, to those of us who is ... single. Did any of you find a partner after being diagnosed ? start a family ?
or does MS make you forget about any hope of having any personal life?
I can't say I was extremely successful in it even before the diagnosis
being a lonely foreigner... grad student ... in the US .... in New York City ...
Jesus, could it get any more complicated. Unfotunatelly it could.
Thanks to you all , I can now smile about it and hope for the better.

I first wanted to post it in the "Under 25 thread" , but ... oops ... don't qulify anymore, I'm 25 having being diagnosed next week after my 25th birthday this November . "Great" birthday present

Any inputs and thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Best.

Vlad

[rasnet6]

Hi There,

I'm 26 and have had MS since I was 19. I never really thought about the relationship thingy and just carried on enjoying my life as best I could.

I dumped my unsympathetic boyfriend soon after learning I had MS!!! My choice - I just felt he would add to the stess in my life rather than help... His mummy did everything for him and i didnt want to be her replacement.

I was in my third year at uni and having a good time and I met Peter. I never hid my MS from my friends - I was always conscious of people thinking I was boring and going home early, when in fact i really needed to go to bed cause I was sooo tired. After telling them why no-one ever gave me any stick for being the first one tucked up in bed.

So Peter knew well before anything happened between us, and I can honestly say he couldnt care less at the time.

When I am sick he looks after me without question, when I am OK he tries very hard to make sure I enjoy the things we do together.

It never put him off the fact that I have MS, but when I suffer so does he.. He hates to see me unwell, and hates the fact he cant do anything about it.. thats the hard part for him.

If you find that special person nothing else in the world seems to matter... Peter is my rock and I cant imagine him not being around.. (who else would I complain to about my MS?? )

Try not to let it bother you, go out have a good time, meet lots of people and when the right person comes along MS will be the last thing on both of your minds (Hopefully!!)

Good Luck

R

[ramairdad]

I have had MS for over 17 years, and it's not pretty! I can't walk by myself, my body doesn't co-ordinate to do things like it used to. Over the years, I've had about every symptom you can think of except blindness(knock on wood). So I know how challenging it can be. But what it all boils down to is.. YOU CAN'T GIVE UP! Always keep hope that there will be a cure or something that can ease symptoms around the corner. But most of all.. keep on with the things you enjoy as best as you can. Adapt to the way you have to do it and get on with it! There are a lot of nice people out there who may not understand the way you feel, but empathise with you.Well, I'll get off my soap box(not literally mind you) and just say, HANG IN THERE!

[DenverCO]

I was married when I was dx, then got divorced several years into it. At the time of my divorce I had a noticible MS limp. The decision to get a divorce was mutual. Indirectly MS played a part in things, but it really wasn't because of the MS.

I met a wonderful man who knew about the MS from the start. It had become so obvious that delaying disclosure was not an option. He has been great. He was there for me during a period when the MS was drastically worsening. On top of that I had about 6 months of very ugly depression. I never would've believed it before I experienced it for myself, but there are people out there who don't view this mess we are in as a deal breaker.