Infidelity because of MS?

For questions on how to support loved ones with MS.
Family Elder
Posts: 1159
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:33 am

Re: Infidelity because of MS?

Post by Anonymoose » Tue Aug 27, 2013 6:34 am

mpalla wrote:God bless you Nutfin! Yes...the cycle of abuse and misuse is evident. My husband of 12 years and the man who raised my son...and I took care of, straightened up his past is leaving. He was great the first few months after original diagnosis is unhappy...when I am sick I may sleep half the day and me not working. I am on a minimal sick leave insurance and he thinks I am having fun getting a check? Are you effing kidding me? I never imagined days before out anniversary he'd say he was leaving state. Thank god I have my family and few friends. You are commended for your devotion even in the face of turmoil and illness. I thought I had that...kicked myself for a few days for having ms...then cried and had an epiphany. You can polish a turd...but it's still a turd. I will carry on....have to for my son. I got this!
So sorry about your situation. Makes that old Kenny Rogers song play in my picked a fine time to leave me Lucile! Your attitude is great and will carry you through. Be strong (like we have a choice). We can do anything for our kids. :)

User avatar
Family Member
Posts: 86
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:51 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: Infidelity because of MS?

Post by mpalla » Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:49 am

Thanks. He is having midlife crisis. I don't need the stress. I am doing. Wednesday found out thyroid issue is hashimotos now. yep...can't win. Keeping on...some days it's tough. Real tough. Thanks any that song is stuck in my head along with the gambler. Lol
Diagnosed 2-13-13. RRMS.

User avatar
Family Member
Posts: 41
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2013 6:59 pm

Re: Infidelity because of MS?

Post by amberfer » Thu Dec 19, 2013 9:26 pm

nuftin wrote:Ok, ok. I am weak. I understand that. I need to move on. I get that too. But how? I have loved this woman for so long, I have been doing MS related events for so long, spending every waking moment being in love for so long.... I signed up for the MS Challenge Walk in DC again this year. So is she. How am I going to be there and not have a high school like melt down? I may have lost my soulmate, but how do I keep going? I supposed these are questions for another forum, but has anybody here had to make that decision? I don't have MS, but it is a VERY major part of my life, and I don't want that to change. I love volunteering at the Texas MS 150 bike event. I love the DC Challenge Walk. Heck, I even love the little, local Addison 5k in the spring. I guess I just feel lost, like I want to cry, have a nervous breakdown and throw up pretty much all the time lately. But on the bright side, I have lost 45 pounds in the past 2 months. It's just really, really hard to think about life if the only reason I want to live isn't there anymore.....
Your interest and experience with your girlfriend's MS are completely unrelated to her infidelity! You ask how you move on...I would say, counseling, not an MS board! I hope your healing process is quick.

Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2012 8:31 pm

Re: Infidelity because of MS?

Post by ScottSD » Sat Jul 11, 2015 10:34 pm

Dude, get out now! This is your excuse. There must be some reason you haven't married her after 12 years. That was a good decision. Trust is the absolute most important thing in a relationship. You don't have that anymore. Let me predict the future. Her MS progresses and after she works through every guy at work, she forces you to get married. You spend the rest of your life wondering if she is telling you the truth while you wait on her hand and foot. Don't be a doormat. I have been with my wife for 10 years, married for 8, and diagnosed for 3. I have never considered or even thought of cheating. That is love and respect. Sounds like you still want to be involved with the MS community. That is a good thing. But you need to find some hobbies instead of being a doormat. You volunteer for the MS Bike 150, why not train and ride in it?

You ask, how will you move on.....This is the time to man up. The husband of my 83 year old neighbor died a few years ago and guess what........she has a boyfriend now. I'm sure you will get over it soon enough.

Sorry if my analysis sounds rude. Sometimes the truth hurts. Good luck.

Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:54 pm

Re: Infidelity because of MS?

Post by agapetos » Sun Feb 07, 2016 3:32 am

Nuftin, this is your time to decide: What do you want? Is it an exclusive relationship where both partners are going to promise fidelity to each other or is it something that is open? If you want the exclusivity, than IMHO marriage is the thing. Now, it does not prevent her (or you) from cheating, but at least you don't leave it as an option (like an open relationship). It seams to me that you really love her, and that you would be up for the exclusive relationship, but DON'T settle for anything less than total commitment - which means that that guy has to go. If you let her just dial down the relationship with him, you are only enabling her to repeat the same hurtful process. Also, I would encourage you to go to couples counselling.
If she would not be willing to cut all strings with the other guy, than be open with her - if she wants to be with him, then let him cook and care for her and show that you are willing to take that step to ensure her that you WILL leave her if she does not choose exclusively you. Do not settle for anything less, because you deserve exclusive commitment (as well as she does).

Post Reply

Return to “Friends and Family”