Emotions gone wonky...is this relapse?

Wonderfulworld · Post by **Wonderfulworld** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:47 am

Hi
I'm usually v. good at knowing what's a relapse and what's not - after 9 + years with the MonSter I should be!.

I seem to be crying at very small things. In work this has happened a few times recently. Feel very "teary" today and feel like I am raw emotionally. I know a lot's going on for me and DH right now (I am off Copax last 2 months as trying for baby, looking into adoption, and only recently got results from all tests after miscarriages. WHEW!) Also commute has been worse recently and I am tired of it.

But despite all those things, this emotional feeling feels more irrational than anything. A small mistake was made yesterday in work and I burst into tears with a colleague. Today I am very embarrased about this. I am running out of "having a bad day" excuses!

Sometimes questions arose for me in the past, when I desperately didn't want another relapse and hoped for another explanation. I have made my peace with relapses to some degree....this time I'd like to know if you feel this is the dreaded "emotional lability" symptom of MS or just stuff going on......
Maybe I should go to my GP and ask for help.
Hmmm.

oreo · Post by **oreo** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:38 pm

"Maybe I should go to my GP and ask for help."

YES - and don't wait another day. Anxiety and depression are both very easy to deal with. There is no reason to live the way you are describing. See your doctor and get the help you need.

thinkingoutloud86 · Post by **thinkingoutloud86** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:25 pm

Hi,

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling the way you have. While I've heard of intense mood swings can be associated with MS for organic reasons, it also sounds as if you've been under a fair amount of distress. While I don't know you and can't say one way or another what is really behind it, problems with trying to have a baby/miscarriage/and having to go off one's meds, could be a real source of stress for a lot of people. I think going to your GP or a psychiatrist would be worth exploring.

best of luck,

ThinkingOutLoud

Loriyas · Post by **Loriyas** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:45 am

Hi WW
I feel for you because I know how anxiety feels and that sounds like how you are feeling. Last year was quite stressful-I had 3 surgeries and one with a complication. After that (or maybe because of that) I had my first major relapse since diagnosed almost 5 years ago. During that time my GP told me to take my clonazapam on a regular basis to help take the edge off the anxiety. I had previously only taken it on occasion for muscle twitching. It really helped me through that time. I didn't stay on it for long, nor did I have to go on anything else after. It was just enough to take the edge off and help me through the anxious time. So you should probably call your doctor to ask if there is something you could have, even if it short term. My only advice is to determine whether you are experiencing anxiety or depression. It has been my impression that docs are quick to throw a depression diagnosis at a patient when it may or may not be the case. Just my 2 cents worth on that. Good luck and I hope you are feeling better soon!
Lori

Lizzy · Post by **Lizzy** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:36 am

I have some depression that is believe is MS related. . i just tend to drop a little deeper sometimes, waves of tears just take over. I ended a relationship 2 months ago and havent been able to recover from it, i just miss him, but we wanted different things - i contacted a therapist that i used to go to and am going to see her next week. It sounds like you have been going through a tough time with some loss in your life (very sorry and not fair) - maybe some therapy would be a good thing. . . just dont ignore how you are feeling. .take some walks, talk to friends and family. .but if you feel "stuck" (this is my issues with my depression) then look for something else - maybe meds, maybe therapy, maybe exercise. . who knows. . part of the journey i guess. .

chin-up!

Post by **jimmylegs** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 11:40 am

hi there sorry to hear you're feeling low that's a real bummer.
when i was doing a lot of reading last year i came across this klenner protocol for ms which involves a lot of b vitamins. i used a dumbed down version to help me regain some sensory function and it worked.
i have also seen research linking b12 to cognitive function, which is impaired in anxiety and depression.
i remember reading that the b6-b12 combo helps to deal with anxiety and stress. i also just did a search and noted that b5 and b12 are important for myelin formation so why not kill two birds with one stone hey?
personally i have found that the b vitamins do work best in complex, do you already take b complex daily? maybe a week of a stronger one would give you a little boost. do you have any B100-complex?
also i recommend hugs and laughter therapy.

lots of funny movies maybe?

Post by **jimmylegs** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:22 pm

oh yea one more thing. it is possible that low b2 can exacerbate low uric acid levels leading to myelin degeneration, i have a reference from 2000 med hypthoseses. so yay, B!

Wonderfulworld · Post by **Wonderfulworld** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:11 am

Thank you all for your replies, means a lot to me.

Oreo and Thinkingoutloud, I agree, I am going to ask my GP about it next week. I have had bouts of depression a few times in the past, and I don't want to go down that road again....it can slowly creep up on you I know. I want to know if it's really the edge of depression back again, or Lori's point below.

Lori, you make a good point about knowing if it's anxiety or depression. I too feel that docs can sometimes say "yes it's depression" when it can be a transitory overload of stressors....maybe that's what's happening in my case. I've also taken clonazepam for twitching in the past - can't take it if trying for a baby unfortunately! - but it works great if you're not for the twitching and sleep. Recently my sleep has been poor quality and broken because of twictching in my legs so that never helps emotions either.

Lizzy I have just increased my exercise too, so good advice there - exercise really does help when I feel anxious, and after a good workout last night I do feel more "grounded" today. I think when I lose motivation it's "warning signs" for me. I haven't lost any motivation yet, just emotional.

And Jimmylegs that's interesting about B2 and B6 and 12 - I normally take a high dose B-vit but I have forgotten to in the last month, will get back on them immediately. I suppose the worst that can happen with them is that you lose them in the waterworks!:lol:

Thank you all again for advice and support, this really is a great board and great people. Like a cyber-hug....

Grumpster · Post by **Grumpster** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:38 pm

WW, I am a little late on the reply but I felt compelled to do so anyway. I too have had my emotions go wonky at times. Previously I have been a pretty rough and tumble guy that did not often show any type of emotion through tears and such. Well fast forward to 6 years into MS and I am really feeling like you describe. I will be driving down the road and find myself crying over song lyrics. I cry while watching sappy movies that I used to laugh at. I do not know if it is a nostalgic longing for a time when I felt normal, or if it is sadness because I feel that my time here is short and I have so much I want to do. I also have been dealing with decisions regarding a child and that is really tough. I do not know if I am cut out to be a father since I am constantly feeling so unstable emotionally and physically.

I really do not know why, but if it is any help I know how you feel. I agree that excercise is great if you can pull it off. My ON is pretty bad and when I get even a little hot my vision blurs. Surfing still is good if my balance does not go wonky. Laughter, and such are great too. I believe in therapy and I go sometimes, but I often fdeel talking to my dog, or even using this forum is just as helpful if not more.

I hope you are feeling better and I truely wish you the best.

G

Lyon · Post by **Lyon** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:21 am

Grumpster wrote:I do not know if I am cut out to be a father since I am constantly feeling so unstable emotionally and physically.

If you are comfortable in your heart that you want to be a father, don't sweat it anymore. If anything being a father will help you pull yourself together. There's no way I can do justice to the entire situation with an explanation, but you'll see. It'll be good for you, and you'll be good for them. Like the NIKE commercial says "Just DO IT!"

Bob

TwistedHelix · Post by **TwistedHelix** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:01 am

It saddens me to hear you've been having such a tough time. I have often felt that the emotional impact of MS has been brushed aside in the literature: all too often we read that, " MS can cause depression", and that's about as far as it goes. But very little effort seems to be applied to finding out whether the depression is situational, (after all, who wouldn't be depressed about the present and anxious about the future?), or physical, (caused by changes in brain structure or chemistry).
On top of that, we have all the usual crap that life throws at us: additional illnesses; relationship and family problems; issues at work, but the MS has removed a lot of the options we would normally use as coping strategies: throwing ourselves into sport or hobbies or socialising.
Although I didn't realise it at the time, I went through a couple of years of the dreaded emotional lability... Embarrassingly, it manifested itself in uncontrollable laughter which was a bit awkward when I was in the police station reporting my brother missing!
Sometimes I hate myself for feeling secretly sad when somebody is telling me about what a great time they're having or when everything works out in the end for people in movies. I believe we are fully entitled to feel some self pity, so long as we don't let bitterness consume us.
Ultimately, as happens so often with this disease, we are left to find our own way through. I hope you can, too, whatever your personal solution is, but perhaps the first step, (and I know this sounds like some particularly corny self help leaflet you've picked up in the dactor's), don't beat yourself up just because of what you're feeling,

Lizzy · Post by **Lizzy** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 11:50 am

I hope you are feeling better. . . i'm struggling a little these days too. I've hit a "dark time" of sorts and having a little trouble getting through it - feeling stuck. I've started seeing my therapist again - so hopefully this will help things. But i cant remember the last day that i didnt cry - as i said before i ended a relationship 2 months ago (we only dated for 1.5 years - but it was a good 1.5 years) but i had high hopes for this one (too high i guess) and it has been a struggle getting over it. He had been contacting me here and there with casual communications and i told him recently that wasnt making me happy to please just let me move on - it was very hard - bc i loved hearing from him. . . he was a great man, just wasnt ready to move forward with the relationship - he was also the first man that i told that i have MS and he was wonderful about it - i was so terrified of telling him when we met. oh well. MS can be a little bit much sometimes, just makes me feel lonely.

Post by **jimmylegs** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:37 pm

that's sucky when relationships end poor lizzy. i guess this seems like a good place to announce, if i have not already, that my relationship of the last 10 years recently ended. it's been a long time coming though! i finally toughed up enough to make the break, it was made on his side a long time ago i guess!